‘No,’ said Lucas, folding his arms and turning away from me. ‘Nuh-huh. No way.’
‘Lucas, don’t be silly,’ says I, trying not to sound like I was begging—because I wasn’t, you understand. ‘You don’t even know what My Sister The Serial Killer is about.’
Lucas rolled his eyes at me. ‘I can guess, thanks.’
I knew I shouldn’t have explained what a serial killer was.
‘And I don’t have a sister,’ continued Lucas, eyes glinting in triumph at what he clearly thought was an insurmountable obstacle, because he apparently hasn’t figured out how this works yet. ‘So I don’t see how it could happen anyway.’
‘You could have a sister,’ I replied. ‘I could just write one in. I can do things like that, you know.’
‘Don’t you dare,’ he said when he picked his jaw up off the floor. ‘My life is complicated enough already without siblings popping up out of thin air all over the place.’
I had to admit, he had a point.
‘Certainly not ones that murder people,’ he added. ‘Do you know how many ghosts I’d have to deal with if that happened?’
‘As many as I feel like making you deal with,’ I said. ‘That’s how this works.’
‘Clara, help me out, would you? he pleaded.
‘Hmm?’ said Clara absently. She was sulking about having to cut their adventures with the Doctor short. ‘Oh yes. Saffron, please don’t make him deal with a serial killer.’
‘Thank you,’ he said smugly.
‘He’s tiresome enough when he’s only got one ghost to deal with,’ she added mischievously.
‘That’s not fair,’ protested Lucas. ‘You don’t have to listen to them go on and on about goodness knows what. And—’
‘Darling, I was only teasing,’ she said, kissing his cheek.
She shot me a look that said she wasn’t teasing at all, but at least Lucas seemed a little mollified.
‘Oh, all right,’ I said with a sigh. ‘You get a free pass today, but only because you’ll be unbearable otherwise.’
Lucas opened his mouth to argue, and Clara kicked him on the shin.
‘You got what you wanted,’ she hissed. ‘Don’t push her, or she’ll change her mind.’
I always said that girl was smart.
Lucas forced a smile. ‘Thanks, Saffron,’ he said in a mildly snarky sing-song tone I chose to ignore.
Clara shut her eyes in despair.
‘You’re welcome,’ I said graciously, choosing to be the bigger person, seeing as I’m the only one who’s technically real. ‘Now run along and play, and I’ll see you tomorrow for another dose of topsy-turvyness. Won’t that be fun?’
‘Bye Saff,’ said Clara quickly, dragging Lucas away before he could say something stupid. ‘See you tomorrow.’
Told you that girl was bright.
Except it's not tomorrow we'll be back, it's Friday. See you then! x
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